beautiful+four+eyes

It took me so long to actually start wearing glasses on a regular basis. In the beginning, it would only be the occasional, brief use when I really couldn’t see what was happening on the white board. Then I gradually started to wear them more during class purely out of necessity, but the second class ended, I would bury them at the bottom of my backpack, choosing to walk around campus blindly instead.
Over the years, the friendship between me and my glasses has gotten more amicable, to the point where I now hang out with them at least 10 hours a day. But looking back, my refusal to wear glasses wasn’t just about how uncomfortable it was to have something perched on my nose or how they made me look – it was also because I got used to seeing things a little blurry. When you’ve looked in the mirror and seen your slightly blurry face reflected back at you for the past ten years of your life, it’s frankly jarring and a little terrifying to finally see yourself crystal clear, to finally face all of the acne and triple chins and flab and imperfections. That was one reason why I hated looking in the mirror with glasses on and avoided it like the plague.
But the more you do some things in life, the easier they get. Sometimes I would accidentally look into the mirror with glasses on, or see my reflection on a store front, and as these occurrences accumulated, I started to get used to seeing me and what I actually looked like. And then something strange happened – I started to voluntarily look in the mirror, often pointing out things that I liked about myself. Now that I could clearly see the curve of my nose, the shape of my lips, the long strands of hair – everything that made me, me – I could finally begin to find self love and self acceptance.
And that’s how glasses helped me accept the way I look, flaws and all. They continue to help me practice self love every day and help me find the particular beauty in everything and everyone I see. 💜

 

 

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let’s+talk+about+weight

Yes, let’s talk about weight – the weight of your existence on this world.
The weight of your intelligence on the minds of others.
The weight of your opinions in conversations.
The weight of your kindness on the happiness of those you touch.
The weight of your confidence on your actions.
The weight of your strength in holding you and your loved ones up.
The weight of your being that can and should take up space.
Yes, let’s talk about weight 💜

un+flatter+me

In my prepubescent and stick-thin days, me and the word “unflattering” never crossed paths. I could wear any silhouette or cut or color and it would still look “good.” Now, tens of pounds later, I hear the word all. the. time. Somehow boxy t-shirts, body-con dresses and super skinny jeans have now fallen into the category of the unflattering, never-dare-you-wear, just because a few extra curves and folds have popped up here and there. But unflattering to whom? Is the fashion police going to come get me if I break some made-up rules? It’s been hammered over and over again into our heads that skinny is beautiful and that everyone should strive to look as thin as possible. Well excuse me, but I’ll wear whatever the h*ll I want and feel fantastic doing so. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And I’ll live my life and wear my clothes by my rules, thank you very much 💜

breaking+out

I don’t know what I did to my acne but it’s been acting up like crazy recently and I want to break up with it. I had perfect skin all through middle school and high school and now this adult acne is plaguing me and making me look like an angsty teen who just learned how to use a pad. Well, so much for nice Asian skin. I wonder where those genes went. But shit happens, I guess. And I’m learning to love the way I look despite the never-ending red splotches that keep popping up. It’s a test of self-love, and I’m passing just fine. 💜

asian+supermarkets

Does anyone else hate going to Asian supermarkets with the parents sometimes? Because my mom’s bound to run into someone she knows who hasn’t seen me since my prepubescent years and feels the need to immediately comment on my weight. First of all, it would be super strange if I hadn’t gained any weight in 10 years. And second of all, my body is not your business. No need to make a big deal out of it, thank you very much. 💜

retail+therapy

Retail therapy makes the world go round, and boy have I done some retail therapy lately. The only problem is (well, full transparency, not only problem but whatever) I’m kind of addicted to those sketchy-looking Asian shopping sites that have everything for prices that make alarm bells go off in your head. But the bigger issue is that almost every piece of clothing that I buy would only fit someone half the size of me. It’s like playing roulette, even with the XL and XXL sizes.
It also doesn’t help that the photos on the sites make the clothes look so big and baggy and comfy that it’s so easy to overlook the fact that the models wearing them definitely do not look like me at all. When the order finally comes after a month of eager anticipation (because, you know, sketchy Asian websites), imagine my disappointment when I can only fit one of my arms through. Sighhh the struggle is real. I guess it’s time to swear off these sites and find retail therapy elsewhere 💜

introducing vent+sesh

Welcome to WIN+WIN! Being a 20-something, non-skinny Asian American comes with a lot of frustrations, complicated feelings and observations from trying to just get through everyday life. Hence, vent+sesh was born for exactly that – venting. I’ve realized that I have a lot to say. Do you? I’m sending these stories and thoughts out into the internet void in the hopes that someone, somewhere will be able to relate and find comfort in our shared experiences. If you ever need to vent or are in the mood for a little rant, you know where to find me 💜